My Values and Beliefs: My Life Purpose

Taking a break from my normal content to share some other personal thoughts and observations I’ve had recently.

I was scrolling Pinterest earlier today, and came across this quote by Rick Warren (who I don’t follow, by the way, but I am Christian) “Without God, life has no purpose, and without purpose life has no meaning. Without meaning, life has no significance or hope.” This quote stuck out to me like a thorn in the side (weird analogy? Probably, but true nonetheless).

Lately, I’ve been pondering my life and my goals and dreams. I’ve felt like I was drifting, with no direction. A huge part of that was my depression, but another part was that a lot of my dreams and goals up to this point have been tied up completely in my faith. My goals were things like being sealed in the temple (I was sealed to my husband in 2017 in the temple), “multiplying and replenishing the earth” (again, I’m a mom, I have two kids who were born in 2019 and 2021, but I’m done having kids of my own now), returning to live with God in His kingdom (lifelong goal, obviously), and spreading His word (long-term goal).

However, they haven’t left me feeling fulfilled, in fact, they made my depression and anxiety worse, because what if I failed? What if I wasn’t good enough? What if I wasted my life and it turned out God wasn’t real? Or God wasn’t who I thought He was and I was following the wrong God? Not only that, but that’s not how my brain works. I don’t do well with long-term goals. I lose focus and forget what I’m working toward, thanks to my ADHD brain (there’s science here, which I might write about in the future, but I’ll leave it at this for now).

I also struggle with “out of sight, out of mind” so when I was going to church a couple times a week as a young single adult and around others who held the same beliefs as me all the time, and was attending a church school where we started every class by praying and sometimes with a scripture… it was a lot easier to stay focused on my goals.

The pandemic messed that up. I wasn’t in college anymore, I couldn’t attend the temple because it closed for a couple years, church was at home rather than in person, and as a young married mom I also didn’t have all the other meetings I had as a young single adult (which were also cancelled, anyway). It then fell on me to hold those goals and plans in my own mind without any help or any reminders (without seeking them out). On top of that I was dealing with postpartum depression and my anxiety was through the roof as a young mom of a 1-2 year old and then a newborn and a 2.5 year old and basically no support system other than my in-laws and husband.

So, I’ve been working on finding my own purpose outside of church, choosing my own long and short-term goals that make me feel good and accomplished. It’s been a struggle because so much of my life and big decisions have been tied to my faith, so what am I outside of my faith? And, so many of my big decisions have been made out of fear of judgement from God, the people I love, the church… so it’s hard learning to make decisions based on logic, reality, love, and the things I value.

So, I’m curious… what are your thoughts on purpose and meaning of life? Is there meaning beyond what church and God provide? What is your meaning or purpose?

Here is what I’ve decided so far about my beliefs and values, outside of God and church and faith:

It’s a work in progress, as always, but this is what makes me happy and feel peace.

Love and light always,

Clarissa