The Neurodivergent Homemaker

Working With My Brain

Something I’ve been working on a lot lately is making my home more user friendly, mainly for me. My purses and bags and jackets used to always end up on the floor in our entryway, literally leaning against the door to the hall closet where they belonged. And chores don’t get done because the list we have (which is great) is in the kitchen where only two or three of the chores we do often are at. Garbage and dishes end up on our counter just inside the kitchen because it’s a hassle opening the baby gate and walking into the kitchen, opening the cabinet door under the sink, opening the lid to the garbage can, and throwing trash away. The reason?

Executive Dysfunction.

“Executive dysfunction, which is also called executive function deficit or disorder, is when the brain has a hard time with the skills of attention, memory, flexible thinking, and organization/time management.” (Definition found on verywellmind.com).

This is very common in those with ADHD, Autism, and even Depression, and other learning disorders.

For me, it mainly affects my ability to get stuff done, like cooking, cleaning, organizing and keeping things organized, and doing things that need done like exercising, drinking water, eating, sleeping, making important phone calls or sending important emails, etc.

So, my goal is to make my home work for my brain rather than against it. I’ve been working on organizing things I use often in clear containers or containers with labels so I know what I have because I very much suffer from “out of sight, out of mind.”

For my bags and purses, when they did get put away, they ended up on the floor of the closet, so my husband and I put hooks in the closet on the wall, so I could hang my bags and purses up in there. My bags and purses still end up on the floor in the entryway, especially when I’m carrying my 7.5 month old in from the car or a walk, but eventually they end up on their hooks and it is working well for me and makes things 10x easier.

For my chores and self-care and exercises, etc. I am in the process of making charts for different rooms of the house. I’ll put them up in areas where I’ll see them often in the rooms I do them. For example, the bathroom chart will have things like: brush teeth, floss, take a bath, shower, sweep and mop, wash bathtub/shower, clean counter, clean toilet. The chart will be in a clear sheet protector meant to be use with dry erase markers and will have a dry erase marker attached so that when we do chores or other stuff we can mark them off so we know it has been done. The charts will be weekly so they’ll just be erased and started over again on Sundays. I’ll share photos when I make them and get them set up around the house.

I’m just starting, but as I do more small projects like these that help me to with making things more accessible for me, I will share them here!

What else would you like to see me write about, or share here? I’d love to know your thoughts! And how do you make your home accessible for you and your family members?

ADHD and Sleep

One thing that a lot of Neurodivergent people struggle with, especially those with ADHD and/or Autism, is sleep. Some reasons might include:

1. They have a sleep disorder or circadian rhythm disorder. This can be anything from insomnia to sleep apnea to delayed sleep phase syndrome. And contrary to certain beliefs, this doesn’t just go away when we grow up. In fact, I’d say it’s worse than ever for me now in my 30’s.

Unfortunately, the world we live in isn’t set up for someone who sleeps in or sleeps during the day and is awake at night. Depending on where you live, stores and other places aren’t open during the hours you might be ready to tackle errands. Doctors offices and government offices are only open from 8am-5pm (at least where I live in the United States of America), and if you normally sleep during those hours it can be a struggle calling to set up an appointment, let alone waking up to get to said appointment.

And, if you have something like Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, it can be detrimental to your health to change your body’s sleep rhythm to accommodate the world we live in. Many people with DSPS talk about how much happier they are sleeping when their body naturally wants to sleep, and how much healthier they are as well. Whereas when they weren’t on a sleep schedule their body liked, they often woke up groggy, slept in (often to the detriment of jobs, relationships, etc), constantly had to fight to sleep at the time they wanted to sleep, and relied on sleep medication or melatonin supplements just to sleep every night just to name a few hurdles.

2. They struggle with turning their brains off enough to sleep.

This is a big one for ADHD-ers especially. Our hyperactivity is often not just in our physical bodies, but also our brains. Our brains just won’t shut up. I’m constantly thinking about some new project or something I did ten years ago that still mortifies me for some reason. This prevents me from being able to sleep, until I’m so tired that my brain just shuts off.

3. They get distracted and hyperfocus on something, and forget to sleep. (I’m guilty of this one way too often).

Often when I have a project to work on (like this blog) I will hyperfocus and forget everything else. This can be to the detriment of my hygiene, getting nutrients into my body, and even sleep. Sometimes I’ll fight my sleepiness and it’ll be hours before my body produces enough melatonin to make me feel sleepy again. It’s something I fight almost daily.

There are other reasons, but those are a few of the biggest reasons. So, what can I do about my sleep?

There is, of course, lots of advice out there about how to practice good sleep hygiene. However, it’s a struggle and everyone is different. Often, it’s a trial and error game. And what works now may not work tomorrow, or it may work for this season of life but not the next, and vice versa.

For me, right now, I generally scroll Facebook and play brain games on my phone (like crossword puzzles, solitaire, etc) until my brain shuts off. More than once in the last week, I’ve woken up to find my phone on the floor next to my bed because I fell asleep playing a game and my phone slipped out of my hand. I’ve tried reading and sometimes it works, but I have to be careful about what I read because if it’s too boring I’ll find something else, and if it’s too interesting I’ll fight my sleep just to finish the book. And if it’s part of a series I’m probably going to be up most of the night. (That’s how I’ve ended up pulling an all-nighter a few times in the last few months).

So, how do you get your sleep? What is your bedtime routine? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below! 🥰

More resources here:

ADHD and Sleep

Hi there!

This is my first post, so I thought I’d introduce myself even though there’s already an about me section.

My name is Clarissa. I am ADHD which affects me in a lot of ways. I will be sharing a lot about my struggles as a homemaker and mom who has ADHD. I may also be Autistic, but I am not diagnosed and don’t currently plan to go through that process because of how expensive it can be, but bear in mind it may play a part in my struggles. The world is made for Neurotypicals, not people like me (and you, if you are also not neurotypical). For me, it’s an everyday struggle trying to live in a world not made to be accessible for me.

I will be sharing my journey to making my home a place of peace and comfort. A place I can be myself and not worry about being like everyone else. A place that works with my brain rather than against my brain. But also, a place where my children can be children and play and explore the world around them, and a place our family and friends can feel comfortable visiting.

As such, I will be sharing my experiences as I declutter, re-organize, and decorate my home. I will also share my struggles with life and being a mom.

So, if any of that sounds interesting, definitely follow me here, on Facebook, and on Instagram.

Much love and admiration,

Clarissa, the Neurodivergent Homemaker