As the birthday of our country approaches, I’ve been seeing more and more videos and posts about the flag… this symbol of freedom that once united us. For years now, I haven’t felt joy in celebrating Independence Day, not because I don’t want to, but because the American flag has been co-opted by some as a symbol of exclusion, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and Christian nationalism. Increasingly, those who claim to be the “true patriots” are the same people who don’t believe in real equality, who act as if they are better than everyone else.
I’ve seen so many people, myself included, feel hesitant to display the flag or call themselves “patriotic” because of how that word has been twisted. But recently, I saw a video by an old acquaintance who said she wants to take back what the flag means. She called for the Democratic Party to reclaim the flag and rebrand what it represents. I loved that idea. I used to feel so proud to stand up for my country and its flag. Now, it makes me sick to my stomach, and I wish it didn’t. Because the American flag is supposed to stand for freedom and equality for all, no matter what someone believes or who they are, whether they’re citizens by birth or new to this country, immigrants or refugees. It’s supposed to stand for liberty and justice for everyone.
I’m a white ex-Mormon woman in a straight-passing marriage, and I know that, at a glance, some people might assume I’m conservative or part of the Christian nationalist movement. But the truth is: I’m a proud demi-pansexual, neurodivergent, liberal woman married to a white, straight, neurotypical (as far as we know) liberal man. We’re raising two neurodivergent daughters in a deeply liberal household. My husband and I both grew up in conservative Mormon homes (especially me), and we’ve done a lot of work to unlearn the biases we were raised with. We’re still unlearning every day, striving to be more kind, empathetic, and loving to everyone, no matter who they are or what they believe.
It’s frustrating to feel like we can’t be outwardly proud of our country without being mistaken for something we’re not. But I refuse to let the people who wave the flag for hate win. Because I believe true patriotism means fighting for equality, justice, and freedom for everyone. It means displaying the American flag right alongside the Pride flag, or the signs in our yard that say “Black Lives Matter” and “No Human is Illegal.”
I recently saw another video that really drove this home: someone said that when we protest today, we should carry the American flag. Trump and others want it to look like it’s “the American troops/government versus outsiders” like immigrants, Muslims, or queer people. But carrying the flag at protests shows the truth: it’s the American government versus the American people who are demanding real justice and freedom for all. And the whole world is watching.
So as we head into the Fourth of July, Pride month, and another election cycle, I’m planting my flag in the ground, figuratively, since I live in an apartment… and proclaiming that I’m an American, I’m proud of our Constitution, and I want this country to keep fighting for freedom and the rights of everyone, not just a select few. I’m reclaiming the symbols of my country for everyone, not just for the narrow, hateful vision of what some think America should be.
We’re Americans, too. And we believe in a future that includes everyone.
The Neurodivergent Homemaker 