Let me start by saying I’m definitely not an expert and I am constantly evolving my routine, and what matters most to me is changing often. Especially as my littles grow and need more or less attention.
When my oldest was around 18 months, she loved helping me with chores, so I’d hand her laundry from the washer and have her put it in the dryer, or I’d have her hand me clean dishes from the dishwasher and I’d put them away. Other chores could wait until my husband and I were both home and we could do them together or while the other was watching our little. As she got older, we added in more little jobs for her like putting her toys away, putting blankets or pillows on couches, or vacuuming with a small cordless vacuum we bought.
Now our littles are almost 4 and 14 months. It’s been a real struggle for the last year and a half and we’ve been in survival mode for much of it. My ADHD has gotten so much worse and I started taking medication for it. I’m also in a class to learn strategies for dealing with my ADHD and in therapy. Even so, it’s a struggle keeping our home to the standards I set for myself, and my husband ends up doing most of the housework these days.
I’ve found the best thing for me in this season of life is practicing self-compassion. Give myself grace and support and love. Remind myself constantly that I’m loved and I’m doing my best, even if my best isn’t up to the standards of others. I’m a work in progress and so is my home.
Our cleaning routine these days is simple. My husband works nights and gets home around the time the littles and I wake up in the morning, so he’ll clean up any messes in the dining room that we didn’t get to the night before, and then get breakfast for the littles. I get ready for the day and get breakfast for myself and then my husband goes to bed. I clean the littles and then the kitchen while they watch a show on tv, if they cooperate.
At bedtime we (as in all four of us, or whoever has the time/energy) pick up toys, and vacuum if necessary. My husband and I run a load of dishes (or whichever of us is free/able to) after our nearly 4yo is in bed and clean the kitchen if there’s time and energy. Then my husband leaves for work. Any other chores that need done get done when we have a spare minute or energy throughout the week, or on the weekend when we’re both home and awake to tag team or work together.
You may be wondering more specifically what our 3, nearly 4, year old does to help out. Lately she has been helping clear the dishes off the table after meals, and pick up any food on the floor, if I/we have the energy to deal with it. Sometimes she’ll help unload the dishwasher, and she loves putting soap in the dishwasher and starting it when it’s full of dirty dishes. She also puts her toys away at the end of the day, with help from us. She loves loading and emptying the dryer, as well. When we pull the cordless vacuum out she asks to vacuum as well so we let her vacuum the living room, hallway, and her bedroom.
Our 14 month old doesn’t do quite as much, but she does help put toys and books away at the end of the day. She loves handing us her books so we can put them on shelves, and putting her toys in the toy bins in the living room.
In this season of life, that’s enough. We reevaluate and add chores as possible or as needed often, but I try not to place too much pressure on myself, as long as our home is functional and not dirty. It’s an ever-evolving thing, and probably will be for at least the next 18 years.
So, I’d love to know… what’s your routine? What do you prioritize? If you have littles (or used to be in this season of life), when/how do you do the household chores/responsibilities? Do your littles help? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below!
The Neurodivergent Homemaker 