The other day, I realized I only had a few pages left in my bullet journal and that I would need a new one before the end of September, even if I just did my weekly to-do lists and didn’t do a monthly page at all. So, I ordered a new bullet journal and started setting it up a few days later. This is a huge hyperfocus of mine. I could sit in my room in silence just setting my bullet journal up for hours and hours without realizing how quickly time is passing.
Yesterday my husband gave me time to do my own thing since I spend the work week with the kids constantly and don’t get much time to myself during the week. I got focused on setting up my bullet journal for August and lost track of time. Before I knew it I’d been in the bedroom for three hours and it was almost bedtime for the littles. Finally I stopped when I realized I was hungry and saw the time. By the time we sat down at the table as a family it was 7:30 (bedtime routine starts at 8, so we usually eat between 6:30-7pm). My husband wasn’t sure if he should come get me at dinner time or if he should wait for me to emerge. This is what it’s like to be time blind.
One pretty common (and annoying) aspect of ADHD is time blindness. This is the inability to understand how much time you have left, how fast time is passing, and how long things take to do. For example, I most commonly experience this when I’m hyperfocused on something like my bullet journal or when I’m reading a book. If I’m really invested in it, hours could pass before I realize it and I’ve missed dinner and bedtime routine.
This can be what makes some people habitually late, or even habitually early to events. Sometimes I way over plan time for activities and routines, and other times I under plan how much time something will take. And no matter how many times I learn how long something takes me, it’s like I’m learning all over again every single time.
So, what can you do if you suffer from time blindness?
I think the first step is really just realizing that’s what your problem is. Do some research (I did a quick google search as I was writing this blog post and there were quite a few good articles at the top of the web search). Learn how it affects your brain.
The next step, if you’re like me, might be setting alarms before you start doing something you know will take longer than the amount of time you have. I hate stopping in the middle of an activity, so if it takes longer than the amount of time I have, I have to set an alarm to remind me to stop because I will keep going until I’m done. Especially if it’s something I love.
My next step is to tell my husband or someone else what time I plan to be done so they can come get me if I ignore my alarm (which happens quite often for me).
If you know someone who is constantly late or doesn’t seem to understand how time is passing, what is something you can do to support them? This depends in large part on who this person is to you.
Last night, when we were eating dinner late and my husband mentioned how he wasn’t sure if he should have come in and got me earlier, he asked if he should do that in the future. We had a discussion about how I try to do my best but I can’t help it sometimes and that it would be nice if he helped me occasionally to pull me out of my hyperfixation to do other important things (like make dinner or do chores or take the littles for an hour or two so he can also have alone time).
Above all, I think the most important thing to realize, is that everybody thinks differently. While one person (with or without ADHD) may struggle with time, others may be hyperaware of the passage of time, and while alarms might work for one person they may do nothing for another. We’re all different and we all experience the world around us differently as well.
The Neurodivergent Homemaker 